Text by Bonnie Curtis
A lot has changed in the world since I initially came up with the concept for this project. I feel like I (and everyone else) has been on a rollercoaster of emotions. Moments of elation, moments of soul crushing misery, moments of calm and those moments in between.
My initial goal was to collect accounts on the positive things that have happened due to COVID-19. I wanted to hear from people working in dance and people who participate in dance classes, watching performances, etc.
I thought, ‘sure there will be plenty of people who want to share their experiences’. However, this proved to be more difficult than I had initially thought. Whether my reach wasn’t far enough or people weren’t interested because they were overwhelmed with everything that was happening. However, the few responses I received were positive.
I don’t think I have ever been as stressed out or anxious, as then when Covid started.
Photo by David Bonnell
The show I spent the past 6 months creating with so many long days, with such hard work only to be postponed a week before opening. It felt like having someone you love die. Like any loss, you grieve. To have something you have put your heart and soul into creating taken away, out of your control is not something I would wish upon my worst enemy. This grief affected me physically. My resting heart rate increased by 20 bpm and took nearly 3 months to return to normal. I was having heart palpitations to the point where I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t even feel like this when my mum died, the most stressful event of my life to date. Although this pandemic is up there, I won’t let it trump the grief of losing my mum.
After my show being postponed, the trip I had been looking forward to was also postponed. I had been accepted into the ImPulsTanz ATLAS Program for emerging choreographers. I was returning to Europe to creatively recharge and have a holiday for the first time in 4 years. I was going back to Berlin where once lived to visit friends, take class, sit in the sun and drink my favourite sparkling wine. I had been yearning this so badly. In April this was postponed until 2021. I found out on International Dance Day. Quite fitting wasn’t it?
By that point I was actually relieved it was postponed because there were no flights out of Australia, I couldn’t get funding and the likelihood of being able to get there was slim to none.
I have come to realise most of the dreams and aspirations I had for 2020 are on hold. Basically 2020 is one of those times in your life you write off at a loss. Like those times you planned to go to the gym everyday and then you’re bedridden with the flu. But instead of the flu, maybe we’ve had a limb amputated. It will take us a while to find our rhythm in our new world, what it means for live performance and what it means for life.
Photo by David Bonnell
I have friends who lost their jobs, had pack up their lives overseas and return to Australia, cancel their performances, had their business go into “hibernation” and cease to exist nearly overnight, and there is my dear friend who lost a loved one to COVID-19.
Each persons loss differs and their experience of grief will be different, but nonetheless, all of humanity is sharing this collective experience of loss, grief, disbelief and shock.
However, in amongst all of the darkness, there has been a silver lining for me, and I’m sure many other people. Online dance classes.
I love being able to take class without having to leave my house. Living in a regional area, it takes me 2 hours to travel into Sydney for a class. Quite often there is only one class I want to take on that particular day, which means I am travelling 4 hours for an hour and a half class. It would take up nearly the whole day to do one class. It was quite prohibitive. But now, I don’t have to travel anywhere.
Yeah, dancing in your house is difficult when you have no space and bad internet can be an issue but if you can find a way to work around those things, it is wonderful. Just remember to move your glass vases before class, otherwise they may end up on the floor in pieces. I may know from experience.
Sure, I miss grand allegro, floor work and actually having space to travel, but I save 4+ hours of my life not sitting in traffic or on a train. It means I can take multiple classes in a day because there are offerings from all over the world at all times of the day. For people who have difficulty accessing classes because of geography, disability, finances, this is a dream come true. This means more people can access high quality, worldwide dance training without needed to leave their homes. Think of the environmental benefits, let alone the psychological benefits of exercise, more time to yourself, less time stuck in traffic, less isolation because you’re connecting with people regularly. I hope it is something that stays for the long term.
Personally, I have loved being able to take class with teachers and students from all around the world. I have taken class with Mia and Victor from Sydney Dance Company, Gaga classes in NY and Tel Aviv, contemporary with Antony Hamilton from Chunky Move, and my favourite class in Berlin: Contemporary Ballet with Christian Schwaan. Think, pounding techno music meets ballet in the studios of Dock11. Reminiscent of the Berlin club experience, minus the cigarette smoke. Not being able to go back to Europe and Berlin this year was crushing but being able to take that online ballet class has made me feel like I am there, even for an hour. The memories of my time in Berlin come flooding back. The smell of winter, drinking East German champers on the street with my friends, the sun shining on me as I ride my bike around Treptower Park and the creative freedom and inspiration I felt. For me it has been more than keeping fit and taking a technique class. It has been about connecting with a place I love and the creative energy I felt while living there. If I can’t actually be there, I guess this is the next best thing. It has been a mini-holiday where I can escape and forget my current reality.
Text by Bonnie Curtis is a multi-faceted artist, driven by an inquisitive imagination and a desire to discover. Born and bred in Sydney, Bonnie trained at the Academy of Music and Performing Arts before moving to Europe to further her artistic development. During her career, Bonnie has worked as an independent artist, playing the role of producer, director, choreographer and performer in works for film, installation and live performance. Bonnie is the founder and Artistic Director of the Australian dance company Bonnie Curtis Projects.
Her creations and collaborations have been featured at ImPulsTanz, Museum Moderner Kunst (AT), Girona Film Festival (ES), Quadstock Music Festival (US), CinéWomen|Womenartconnect (EU), Asia International Youth Short Film Exhibition (CN), Lift Off (UK), Biennale of Sydney, Sydney World Film Festival, and Sydney Fringe Festival (AU), among others.
She is the founder and Artistic Director of Bonnie Curtis Projects, an independent dance company based in Australia.
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